there are some things that we just cant control.

i think all of us know that and have come to accept it at one level or another, whether it had been through a terrible experience or being told so on the back of a bottle cap. i know ive made my peace with the concept several times, surrendering and leaving injustice up to the mystical force, karma, to solve. ive embedded the matter of what goes around, comes around into the cracks in my palms, constantly reminding myself that i'll get what i give. this has paved the path for me to become a much better person that what i was a year ago, believe it or not.

thats why it bothers me to the core when i am at the receiving end of somebody else's bad actions and the reason for why their karma is becoming tainted. i dont get it. why would anybody do that, especially if they do not benefit at all? why would they affect another person if there is not positive outcome to come out at the end of all this?

i am sick of being incorrectly portrayed and seen in negative lights when it comes to this issue. i dont want to be accused of not being enough! and for what?

just because this time it isnt direct doesnt mean i am not affected or that i dont notice. i sat down and explained everything to one of my best friends today, told her how i felt, how this is changing the opinions of others on me, opinions of others that i have never met, opinions that i have no way of clarifying, the constant comparisons that are being made. before i allowed my tear ducts to open up, she had already started crying for me. (if youre reading this, i am so thankful to have someone as empathetic and with a big heart as you as a friend!)

after that incident, i didnt know if i was meant to feel more strongly about all this. but ive made the realisation today that people who judge you based on your presence and presents are not worth worrying about. people who judge you by how often your company is noted, people who care about the monetary value of the objects you buy to express your feelings: love and life arent games played that way. all we can really do is take care of those around us and how we treat them. everything else will work out.

because there are a lot of things we cant control-- somebody else's karma is one of them.

weather was premenstrual syndromic again today so brought my pe gear for nothing. i hate it when that happens. actually, i hate pe in general. dont get me wrong; i love the actual subject. running around, playing basketball, softball, netball and hockey is fun, but having to lug around my bag of clothes, shoes and hat is not. it's all that less fun when you bring your stuff and end up not having to use it and you get contardo as your sub. she ended up letting us use the pianos in the drama room and alvin and i sang a million songs. i've been too influenced by the guitaring style that i just learn one progression of chords and use them for every song on the piano. 8 years of piano going down the drain. and my piano skills dont belong down in the drain with hairy rats and accidentally-dropped phones.

hunted down monica at lunch to confirm details about our planned trip to liverpool. she was talking to mr lynch so i had to interrupt their conversation. as i was about to walk away after finding out who what where why how, mr lynch greets me with a "hi wendy". strange because ive never had him as a teacher, nor talked to him. ..peodphile?

"tell me what subjects you're doing next year?"

ahhhhhh! pedophile fo sho now! on a more serious scope of why he probably asked me though.. probably another teacher that expects me to reply with 'chemistry, physics, economics' just cos im asian. stop reminding me that im failing asian expectations! sad face sad face i said, "legal studies, modern, music and biology". and he held up his hand and said, "hi-5!" yaaaay.

then again, he's white.

kidding, i'm not racist (like jordan kerr, choosing only white creating connection leaders to train the new year 9s, what is this). then he goes on to tell me that mr kearney has said a lot of good things about me in the hsie faculty! and that he, mr lynch, was marking commerce and history yearly papers and was impressed by the extended responses and checked to see who it was and it was mine! aw aw aw, hope has been restored! bring it on, year 11 and 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay, just year 11 first, one at a time.

macarthur square with monica was fun! definitely more fun than bringing pe gear for nothing, nothing! found her shoes, clutch and a whole bunch of clothing! i bought the dress ive had my eye on for a few months now! yes im using too many exclamation marks! ah. eric brought kevin and jimmy all the way to macarthur (poor boys). monica and i found kevin and jimmy plomped on two vending massage chairs trying to persuade eric to pay for them. eric refused and kevin later asked for a manual one before jimmy proclaimed "that's gay, man!" noticed jimmy had a ring on his finger. eric tells me it's his ring with his girlfriend, jessica. how cute! i know jessica. from a party very very very very ages ago. wonder if she remembers me..

had to get off at glenfield to switch from east hills line to south. kevin and jimmy went away to give eric and i "alone time" before we reached liverpool and eric informed me that jimmy would have to get off, rendering kevin (and his gorgeous dimples) all aloooone! went downstairs to reunite kevin and eric only to find jimmy there. there was just this sort of vibe that i could feel (sounds weird, doesnt it?) and they made me laugh quite continuously before having a very in depth discussion about maths.

moral of the story: sefton boys contemplate quadrilaterals in their spare time.

Labels: everyday, shop

didnt go to tracey's birthday party at star city, what a shame! all these photos on facebook from her celebrations are encouraging my little red blood cells to chant, "we want a 16th party too! we want a 16th party too! we want a 16th party too!" no. im not bothered. ill save up money and make my 18th exactly how i want it, fairy lights and glitter and all my friends beautifully dressed up :)

mum took my sister and i to liverpool westfields yesterday because my piano lesson got cancelled and i had missed out on tracey's (yes my mum's the best). we had to go through myer to get into westfields so we decided we might as well browse the formal girls section, and there it was. my formal dress!

well to be honest, i never planned on wearing this colour to formal at all. but i tried it on and it just. we just. i just fell in love with it. too bad it was a size 14 and the straps were falling off my shoulders and the waist was too big. ran around desperately trying to find my size, no luck! i was becoming too familiar to finding my perfect dress and it not being in my size or being sold out (dress on asos- im sorry but you left me first!) but then my mum held out this other dress for me to try on. i thought it was a bit plain, and very sure everyone's seen the style of it before, but tried it on anyway and it felt so good! (dont take that out of context, please.) the material was so light and it felt like i had nothing on. (feel free to take that out of context.) couldnt find the first dress is the size i wanted, so mum hid both of those dresses in the corner whilst we went off in search for a dress in the rest of westfields!

didnt find any better. once you find the dress, none other can compare. (okay, asos dress, i still want you. baby, come back!) there was this amazing amazing amazing dress at forever new. floor length, the bust part was silk but the waist down was this layer of silk, then a layer of that meshy material on top with sequins scattered everywhere. i would've gotten that if a) there was a size 10 and b) i wasnt vertically challenged. would've had to wear 10cm heels with it. and i dont have money for new shoes. i didnt even plan on buying a new dress for formal for crying out loud! so back to myer we went!

decided to buy both the dresses cos there was a sale and basically bought both for the price of one! teehehehe. mum said she could fix the size 14-ness. was lining up to pay, but there were too many people so i decided to have one last stroll around. saw the colour of my dress on the back of the mannequin. ran towards it. ran to the front to look at it from the front. yes! my dress! grabbed the tag. it was my size. booyah.

ran back to the girl at the counter to ask her to take it off the mannequin for me. she was on the phone with someone, with a girl standing next to her looking quite distressed. found out that that girl had left a shopping bag in the change rooms, went outside to pay, remembered she left her bag in there, ran back in and it was gone. apparently they were presents for her friends from prouds and the girl who worked there was on the phone with the manager, seeing if he could do anything about it. she told the girl to wait to serve me, and i asked her if i could try the dress on the mannequin and she said she wasnt allowed to, and i should wait for the manager to come down and ask him to take it off for me. so there we were. two asian girls waiting. poor little asian girls we were. yes. very.

waited for around 10 minutes, before another lady came and said, "did somebody turn up here asking about a few bags? i accidentally grabbed them with my shopping bags and im just here to return them." so that was the other girl's problem fixed. manager came down and everything was resolved haha, he had a walkie talkie and everything. then he asked me what he could do for me and was so nice about it, even making small talk with me. the customer service at myer is really great! tried it on and it was a definite i-am-buying-this-no-matter.

my sister wanted to go to diva and colette. bumped into jacquie along the way! whilst mylynn and mum were in diva, i took out the parking ticket to check if we were over 3 hours, cos we're asian, we dont like paying for parking. but that's the thing-- the ticket wasnt in my bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i dont know why i have been responsible for my mum's parking tickets since forever. probably because she always loses it. i crazily opened up all my zips and slid open my phones just to make sure they werent caught in there. but it wasnt there. oh dear. ran into diva to tell my mum. she didnt really care, she was too busy analysing those giant giant hair clips. when she exited the shop, it finally sunk in and so we decided to go back to myer to look around.

it wasnt there, it wasnt anywhere! i dont know how many perfume cards i picked up off the floor just checking to see if it is the parking ticket. i asked the lady at the checkout but she hadnt seen one. and there it was. me, now the distressed one. she probably has had her fair share of distressed asian girls by now. my mum and sister went back to the car to check, while i ran around to every single shop we went to, crazily looking around on the floor and asking all the shop assistants. nothing. nothing. nothing. nothing. they either thought i was on drugs or that i was a bit too young to be driving.

it was about at this time that i got a text from vanessa saying, "my uterus is contracting :(".

then a phone call from my sister, "we found it in myer!"

first of all, she was meant to be in the car. and secondly, i already looked there! it was my territory, i would've ran back to look again anyway, hmph. MY TERRITORY!!!!!!!!! i sound like the voiceover on meerkat manor. ran from forever new all the way back to myer and was drowning myself in my own perspiration by then.

... thank you for reading/scrolling this far tehehehe.

Labels: embarrassing stuff that only wendy would go through

exams no more! rejoice!

no more having to hug my notes around everywhere i go. no more having to say, "i'm watching tv but im meant to be studying." no more feeling guilty because i get distracted by food. i can finally sit down and do something without being reminded by my conscience to study, to study, to study, to study. im lovin' it.

math trials were a bit of a bitch. uh. i encountered some girl problems right after i finished section 2. wont go any further into that heh. by lunch time, my uterus was contracting so hard (oh i guess i decided to go further into it after all) that i couldnt study and had to borrow calvin's jumper to keep warm even though it was around 23°C. i hate it when you have so much time left in an exam and you know you should be checking but you just cant be bothered because you know you dont know half the stuff and your first guess will be as worse as anything you pretend to know and correct. there's only so many times i can cross out on my multiple choice answer sheet.

that's me and science. we're an onion and a banana in a pea pod.

i'm really not bothered with my body. as in, i dont moisturise, i dont exercise, i dont know how to apply make up, i dont really give a damn about my skin tone, i hate clipping my nails, i hate showering for crying out loud. so yesterday, when i twisted my left arm inwards to take a look at that side of my arm for the first time in years, it shocked me to find out i have three moles in a line there.

it's a freaking constellation, on my arm.

tracey's birthday party tomorrow. desperately. want. to. go. too bad i have tutor 8-10, which means i'd have to catch the late train all by myself to the city now that even diem's managed to find someone to carpool with. id have to swim through the sea of people and find my way to the restaurant. directions, im not really good with that, i have no sense of direction. alvin would know, he showed me a text today that i sent him in year 7 complaining about how he was teasing me because i walked into a wall that day.

i want a job in retail already! hire me, damnit!

Labels: everyday, exams

maths and science trials tomorrow and then we're free! because who cares about the actual school certificate, right?

i hate people who whack me on the head when i say i actually care about school certificate. 'care' in my dictionary doesnt mean to the extent of staying home to study, or full hardcore revising. just, you know. cruising along. eating gelato and screaming out, "oi, what's the formula for the surface area of a sphere?" .. is it 4πr²?

-she wanted me to take her name off- got an interview at cotton on! im so excited for you, oh, one of my close friends is going to be in retail! yippee! (you could call me easily amused. id rather think of myself as supportive -grins-)

okay, no wonder i could never find the spot to apply. liverpool is separate from sydney in the search thingy on the website. what is this?! all this time ive been thinking theres no openings because ive been searching sydney, and not specifically, liverpool. time to apply, time to apply, time to apply. yes i am desperate for a job.

edit im capped so i got eric to apply for me. all good and well before i remember to just make sure with him that he's given my work email and not my stupid accidental year 3 email. and guess what? he gave the wrong email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that means i wont be hired!!!!!!!!!!!! who's gonna want some girl with lil_pineapple8 as her email serving customers and dealing with cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay never mind, you can edit your email. oh. okay, thanks eric, hehehe. i got so angry over that. my blood is boiling. must be the foreshadowing of my menstruation. sorry i had to put you through that. moving on.

english trial was enjoyable. i got to sit there for 25 minutes just to think about what i should write for my short story, finish the story and still have 20 minutes spare time! i am the worst at creative writing, and the time frame of 2 hours and 10 minutes really allowed me to think of what to write! the letter to the editor was a lot of fun. muahuahuahua. if miss smith marks my letter to the editor im going to get 0/15. she loves our free school laptop to pieces. calls herself the moodle queen. psh.

moodle is stupid because it sounds like noodle. but it's not.

Labels: everyday, exams, moodle is stupid because it is like noodle but it's not

excuse my cat. please dont interpret its paws as mutated breasts.

only mathematics non-calculator, english trial, hsie trail, mathematics trial and science trial left! yeah, only. dont worry, i feel your pain.

must i reiterate the fact that mr dillon is machine of a marker? a1 got their math yearlies back. dun dun dun! my fail score in math was somehow blanketed by my unexpected mark for geography -grins-. this was even worse than the time where our average for consumer arithmetic topic test was around 60%! dillon said he set a hard exam on purpose to separate us because our results are always so clumped but we still could've done better. "this is a wake up call." yeah, we'll wake you up, sir, we're going to redeem ourselves and rock your stripey socks off with the maths non-calculator. we're all going to get full marks except me and we'll go on to do extension 1 maths and we'll top the grade and it won't be thanks to freaking maths online either! ok go, a1!

i told alvin that if he stole my topic sentences, i'd steal his virginity.

the essay question for the english exam wasnt even a real essay question. what is this?!?!?!?!?! gave me a picture of white duck eggs picking on a brown chicken egg and told me to discuss the importance of accepting individual differences. ive been studying the wrong thing, always had a focus on how the characters in my texts were being ostracised, not why we should accept them. had 4 minutes left and pondered to myself, should i gamble and write a fourth body paragraph before the conclusion? but nah. i only managed to write 3 body paragraphs, 5 paragraphs in total, which is quite insufficient. fingers crossed that i'll still get an above average mark, considering i did so yesterday at english tutor. (for one of the questions in our short answer tasks, eric wrote half a page and got marked 0.5, i wrote 8 lines and got marked 1, hehe.)




such beautiful dresses. the last one (not on the rack) would be something id buy instantly for formal if i saw it. would have to be strapless though. but i've come to a point where i've given up on trying to find the perfect formal dress. i found it earlier this year, but now it's sold out and i feel like i will never find another -sniff-. just going to wear one of my old dresses again. then i came up with an ingenious plan this morning: if i scab 20c off nearly everyone in the whole school, id get $120! enough for a decent dress and shoes right?! simon chau came up to me and told me what colours he was going to wear last week just to see if it would match my dress. i think i blushed.

going to go eat instant noodles for lunch now. subway the wendy-lifestyle, eat fresh! keep at it, dearies! study hard! ♥

Labels: everyday, exams

i lost my appetite and felt like vomitting two days ago. i think im pregnant.

i've missed you guys! now that we've established that sentiment, i think it's an obligation that i go on and tell you about where i've been, what i've been up to and the havoc i have created for myself and those around me. cos you know. it's me.

math exam, over! not that i can really express that with any sort of real relief or satisfaction. what is happening to me. i am losing marks on my math papers by the gajillions. the first time in a maths exam where i have had to leave a blank space for one of the questions. and you know what pisses me off, is that i finished part a and part b in 20 minutes, and thought to myself, "wooo! gonna ace this part c with 1 hour, surely!" no. part c was mean and cruel and evil and twisted, twisted in the reproductive organs, i hope part c dies lonely without a wife and without kids! but still gets buried in a nice coffin. i do not like the idea of cremation at all.

that stupid, stupid question on the compound interest. after 5 minutes of intensely staring it down, i got to this:

P(1+r)³ = 2P

and i thought to myself, yeeeeeee, two p's they can cancel out! but i went on to do this:

(1+r)³ = P

i subtracted instead of dividing. and ended up with some answer that was r=³√P -1. whilst i sat there with only 4 minutes left, with rubber rubberings all over my desk, with vanessa's voice yelling vagina, what?! in my head and with the question saying "to two decimal places", i thought, "what the hell, how do i round stupid letters off to two decimal places?!?!??!?!?!?!?! oh. maybe it's a trick question, ah ill be smart and leave it as pronumerals." yeah. good job, wendy, the answer's 26%.

had pe before math exam. everybody remembered how i had to have an operation in year 7 because carissa whacked my hand whilst we were playing hockey in sport and my nail bed was broken and my nail fell out of my finger and all the bones were crushed? and they put me on anaesthetic so i would be asleep during the operation cos it was that bad, and i had to be wheelchaired around after the operation for a while? yeah, that was somehow relived today as peggy whacked her hockey stick onto my hand which is now bruised. right during yearlies period. thank you god, for letting mr wilson choose wooden hockey sticks for us to use with, instead of those solid plastic ones. or else i would be in hospital right now being examined by truong's brother again.

playing against kyle also brought back memories of when he knocked me unconscious and i lost my short term memory. i did not dare play attack when we versed his team, in cased i got wendyed again.

study hard guys, only two more weeks! praying for you all, sending love and science formulas your way ♥

Labels: exams

another unproductive day at the library. angela turns up at 4:30pm and says, "i just woke up and decided to come!" stupid girl. if she's going to lie at least make it feasible. insulting my intelligence. i sound like sheldon cooper. okay. too much big bang theory. on another note, she bought me pandan waffles.

how do you describe photos like this? white. non-cluttered. intricate. no meaning but making absolute sense. i dont know, someone help me out, because it's my favourite kind. i used to stumble upon a lot on tumblr and weheartit, but it's getting less common now.

went to the doctors today to check out my ears (finally). been putting it off due to my fear of the words "it's permanent and there's nothing to help" coming out of his mouth. not that today helped because he said, well, nothing, and prescribed me antibiotics for hell knows what. i asked him if after taking the medication it would go away, and he said it should because my eardrum looks fine but i should come back on sunday. it was getting too awkward that it didnt occur to me to ask what the medication actually did. so wikipedia it was when i got home! one is to kill bacteria and one is to "dilate the blood cells in the middle ear".

i just googled it and apparently drugs that dilate blood cells in the middle ear will make tinnitus worse, especially if it is the ear hairs in your cochlea that are damaged and are causing the ringing. do i trust the internet or the doctor that wouldnt talk?

im scared. :( do i take my drugs or not?

freaking internet, screwing up my judgements.

let's just all ignore the fact that my title resembles some sort of powerade or lynx commercial.

5 days of holidays left, and what did i do? chose to further spend it at the library. but more to the point, chose to play cards for 2 hours which not only interrupted my studying but disrupted all the other strangers surrounding me. my mouth and stomach still hurts from all the laughing and the laughing at the laughing and the laughing at the laughing at the laughing when we werent supposed to be laughing.

we all know im not very good at the game bullshit. but someone has taken that crown off me. simon wang. oh, the poor boy. i think it was his first time playing it, but those who know simon wang would understand how hilarious this would've been (or hee-larious as nicholas would say). his facial expressions, voice, hand gestures, all put together as he placed down four cards and yelled, "three 6's". a lot of similar events followed. i've never seen eric laugh so hard he fell off his chair a couple of times. i've never seen nicholas' eyes go so small. and i think i was quite convinced christie was having an allergic reaction as she shook from laughter. then nicholas lost at 13 and hence owed me $5 which i happily spent on lunch which only made the day better. no doubt the best day ive ever spent at the library, you guys are a great bunch, thank you for being my study buddies this holidays :)

note to self: time to get a move on and finish all notes!




we were eating mussels and my sister found this in hers. cutie little crab.




my mouse mat, bought a year ago. dont think ive ever shown you guys!



i hate painting my toe nails the same colour. dont know why. but the two different colours always have to correlate or compliment each other in one way or another. and forgive my ugly little toes. who cares, toes, you're adorable to me. yes. i am showing you guys a picture of my feet. hehehehe. feet hi5! no? psh. my feet smell lovely.

formal shopping begins! the dress i have wanted and have been swooning over and have dreamt of purchasing and receiving in the mail and wearing is unfortunately sold out online. cut. cut to the core.

however, i tried on this dress today! that i have kept an eye on for a while. it is surprisingly plain (i say surprisingly because i am always plastered in sequins and glittered somehow) and definitely not what i had in mind at all as my potential formal dress. but it works. somehow. a lot of people will not like it, i know, but i am actually considering buying it now as it's currently on sale and is about a fifth of the price of the dress i wanted online. why go all out now, save it for year 12, right? im too fat to look good now anyway, im not going to bother spending $$$ when the end product is going to look like broccoli in heels.

yes, that is me.

you guys are always wonderful and lovely though, and always encourage me and support me. you guys will tell me i am beautiful and to stop worrying about formal. look, you guys chipped in to get me a guitar when you knew i didnt deserve one, when you knew my guitar skills were noob, when you knew the aftermath would be horrible covers with tragic strumming. you always leave me nice comments about my outfit posts, encourage me to do this, do that, which i would really not have the mindset to do. for example, ive dreamt of singing for talent quest ever since year 5. ive never had the guts, and have always just performed piano solos. but so many of you urged me to sing and gave me such lovely feedback afterwards. things like always having an interesting conversation on the train ride to school in the mornings which always get quoted for the rest of the day, creating adventures at libraries and shopping centres, seeing my page counter go up in the hundreds every day remind me that i am very lucky. the kindness that is exhibited to me by many of my readers and my friends and people around me never fail to make me feel warm inside. you always make me feel like i am appreciated and that the things i do make sense and have meaning.

and for that, i thank you: each and every one of you.

Labels: everyday, exams, holidays, thank you god, wendy loving all her readers and being all emotional no it is not pms

daylight saving is a bit of a bitch.

i woke up to my dad's mexican-horse-prancing-style guitaring (which somehow invaded my sleep and was the background music to one of my dreams) and the clock said 10 past 9, so i closed my eyes. resumed zzzz. then woke up again, before i quickly gathered it was +1 hour to the clock and that iwas in fact 12PM and that i should probably get out of bed. that wasnt the worst though- my church starts at 2pm and ends at 3pm. yes, that's right, one family turned up at 3pm, and was looking quite puzzled at how everybody was packing up. heh. lucky channel go!99 reminded me.

so many of you have been extra nice to me about my drastic vocal ability, thank you :') but i assure you. i would never put you through a whole song. 45 second introductions about my life and my lost tax file numbers and durian residue in my mouth, but never a recording of a whole song. new videos: omg and shock, i think theyre unlisted at the moment though :$

i really really really want a condenser microphone like grace's so i can sing as loud as i want, and reach high notes without the fear of making that kind of blurry-crackly sound against my current webcam microphone! they're like $150 though :(

week 1 of holidays over and what have i done? nothing. besides study. but that's nothing. may i remind you and put everyone at peace that i am not studying for the school certificate, and am studying for my yearlies? people always get so worked up. i hate being patronised by year 11s and 12s at the library who are so ignorant and distribute comments like, "oh. em. gee. why are you studying. it's just year 10. screw it. you're such a nerrrrrd. get a life." .. thanks. i detest that sort of advice! "just year 10", well it's just year 10, yeah, but it's still a school year, and there's still exams and i still want to do well. i think nerdin' it up at the library with a whole group of friends is much more fun and economically-sustainable than wondering aimlessly around westfields, to be honest: heaps of cute and hot guys study there and christie and i get up to a lot of detective work, and looking over shoulders and strutting past and spying behind bookshelves. but also, in saying that, this second week of holidays will see me beyond the realms of libraries. so go eat a cactus, people who keep swearing at me for studying, yeah, that's right, a reeeeeeal dry and spiky one.

and no, im not pmsing. i promise.

Labels: everyday, exams, holidays

there are some things that we just cant control.

i think all of us know that and have come to accept it at one level or another, whether it had been through a terrible experience or being told so on the back of a bottle cap. i know ive made my peace with the concept several times, surrendering and leaving injustice up to the mystical force, karma, to solve. ive embedded the matter of what goes around, comes around into the cracks in my palms, constantly reminding myself that i'll get what i give. this has paved the path for me to become a much better person that what i was a year ago, believe it or not.

thats why it bothers me to the core when i am at the receiving end of somebody else's bad actions and the reason for why their karma is becoming tainted. i dont get it. why would anybody do that, especially if they do not benefit at all? why would they affect another person if there is not positive outcome to come out at the end of all this?

i am sick of being incorrectly portrayed and seen in negative lights when it comes to this issue. i dont want to be accused of not being enough! and for what?

just because this time it isnt direct doesnt mean i am not affected or that i dont notice. i sat down and explained everything to one of my best friends today, told her how i felt, how this is changing the opinions of others on me, opinions of others that i have never met, opinions that i have no way of clarifying, the constant comparisons that are being made. before i allowed my tear ducts to open up, she had already started crying for me. (if youre reading this, i am so thankful to have someone as empathetic and with a big heart as you as a friend!)

after that incident, i didnt know if i was meant to feel more strongly about all this. but ive made the realisation today that people who judge you based on your presence and presents are not worth worrying about. people who judge you by how often your company is noted, people who care about the monetary value of the objects you buy to express your feelings: love and life arent games played that way. all we can really do is take care of those around us and how we treat them. everything else will work out.

because there are a lot of things we cant control-- somebody else's karma is one of them.

weather was premenstrual syndromic again today so brought my pe gear for nothing. i hate it when that happens. actually, i hate pe in general. dont get me wrong; i love the actual subject. running around, playing basketball, softball, netball and hockey is fun, but having to lug around my bag of clothes, shoes and hat is not. it's all that less fun when you bring your stuff and end up not having to use it and you get contardo as your sub. she ended up letting us use the pianos in the drama room and alvin and i sang a million songs. i've been too influenced by the guitaring style that i just learn one progression of chords and use them for every song on the piano. 8 years of piano going down the drain. and my piano skills dont belong down in the drain with hairy rats and accidentally-dropped phones.

hunted down monica at lunch to confirm details about our planned trip to liverpool. she was talking to mr lynch so i had to interrupt their conversation. as i was about to walk away after finding out who what where why how, mr lynch greets me with a "hi wendy". strange because ive never had him as a teacher, nor talked to him. ..peodphile?

"tell me what subjects you're doing next year?"

ahhhhhh! pedophile fo sho now! on a more serious scope of why he probably asked me though.. probably another teacher that expects me to reply with 'chemistry, physics, economics' just cos im asian. stop reminding me that im failing asian expectations! sad face sad face i said, "legal studies, modern, music and biology". and he held up his hand and said, "hi-5!" yaaaay.

then again, he's white.

kidding, i'm not racist (like jordan kerr, choosing only white creating connection leaders to train the new year 9s, what is this). then he goes on to tell me that mr kearney has said a lot of good things about me in the hsie faculty! and that he, mr lynch, was marking commerce and history yearly papers and was impressed by the extended responses and checked to see who it was and it was mine! aw aw aw, hope has been restored! bring it on, year 11 and 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay, just year 11 first, one at a time.

macarthur square with monica was fun! definitely more fun than bringing pe gear for nothing, nothing! found her shoes, clutch and a whole bunch of clothing! i bought the dress ive had my eye on for a few months now! yes im using too many exclamation marks! ah. eric brought kevin and jimmy all the way to macarthur (poor boys). monica and i found kevin and jimmy plomped on two vending massage chairs trying to persuade eric to pay for them. eric refused and kevin later asked for a manual one before jimmy proclaimed "that's gay, man!" noticed jimmy had a ring on his finger. eric tells me it's his ring with his girlfriend, jessica. how cute! i know jessica. from a party very very very very ages ago. wonder if she remembers me..

had to get off at glenfield to switch from east hills line to south. kevin and jimmy went away to give eric and i "alone time" before we reached liverpool and eric informed me that jimmy would have to get off, rendering kevin (and his gorgeous dimples) all aloooone! went downstairs to reunite kevin and eric only to find jimmy there. there was just this sort of vibe that i could feel (sounds weird, doesnt it?) and they made me laugh quite continuously before having a very in depth discussion about maths.

moral of the story: sefton boys contemplate quadrilaterals in their spare time.

Labels: everyday, shop

didnt go to tracey's birthday party at star city, what a shame! all these photos on facebook from her celebrations are encouraging my little red blood cells to chant, "we want a 16th party too! we want a 16th party too! we want a 16th party too!" no. im not bothered. ill save up money and make my 18th exactly how i want it, fairy lights and glitter and all my friends beautifully dressed up :)

mum took my sister and i to liverpool westfields yesterday because my piano lesson got cancelled and i had missed out on tracey's (yes my mum's the best). we had to go through myer to get into westfields so we decided we might as well browse the formal girls section, and there it was. my formal dress!

well to be honest, i never planned on wearing this colour to formal at all. but i tried it on and it just. we just. i just fell in love with it. too bad it was a size 14 and the straps were falling off my shoulders and the waist was too big. ran around desperately trying to find my size, no luck! i was becoming too familiar to finding my perfect dress and it not being in my size or being sold out (dress on asos- im sorry but you left me first!) but then my mum held out this other dress for me to try on. i thought it was a bit plain, and very sure everyone's seen the style of it before, but tried it on anyway and it felt so good! (dont take that out of context, please.) the material was so light and it felt like i had nothing on. (feel free to take that out of context.) couldnt find the first dress is the size i wanted, so mum hid both of those dresses in the corner whilst we went off in search for a dress in the rest of westfields!

didnt find any better. once you find the dress, none other can compare. (okay, asos dress, i still want you. baby, come back!) there was this amazing amazing amazing dress at forever new. floor length, the bust part was silk but the waist down was this layer of silk, then a layer of that meshy material on top with sequins scattered everywhere. i would've gotten that if a) there was a size 10 and b) i wasnt vertically challenged. would've had to wear 10cm heels with it. and i dont have money for new shoes. i didnt even plan on buying a new dress for formal for crying out loud! so back to myer we went!

decided to buy both the dresses cos there was a sale and basically bought both for the price of one! teehehehe. mum said she could fix the size 14-ness. was lining up to pay, but there were too many people so i decided to have one last stroll around. saw the colour of my dress on the back of the mannequin. ran towards it. ran to the front to look at it from the front. yes! my dress! grabbed the tag. it was my size. booyah.

ran back to the girl at the counter to ask her to take it off the mannequin for me. she was on the phone with someone, with a girl standing next to her looking quite distressed. found out that that girl had left a shopping bag in the change rooms, went outside to pay, remembered she left her bag in there, ran back in and it was gone. apparently they were presents for her friends from prouds and the girl who worked there was on the phone with the manager, seeing if he could do anything about it. she told the girl to wait to serve me, and i asked her if i could try the dress on the mannequin and she said she wasnt allowed to, and i should wait for the manager to come down and ask him to take it off for me. so there we were. two asian girls waiting. poor little asian girls we were. yes. very.

waited for around 10 minutes, before another lady came and said, "did somebody turn up here asking about a few bags? i accidentally grabbed them with my shopping bags and im just here to return them." so that was the other girl's problem fixed. manager came down and everything was resolved haha, he had a walkie talkie and everything. then he asked me what he could do for me and was so nice about it, even making small talk with me. the customer service at myer is really great! tried it on and it was a definite i-am-buying-this-no-matter.

my sister wanted to go to diva and colette. bumped into jacquie along the way! whilst mylynn and mum were in diva, i took out the parking ticket to check if we were over 3 hours, cos we're asian, we dont like paying for parking. but that's the thing-- the ticket wasnt in my bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i dont know why i have been responsible for my mum's parking tickets since forever. probably because she always loses it. i crazily opened up all my zips and slid open my phones just to make sure they werent caught in there. but it wasnt there. oh dear. ran into diva to tell my mum. she didnt really care, she was too busy analysing those giant giant hair clips. when she exited the shop, it finally sunk in and so we decided to go back to myer to look around.

it wasnt there, it wasnt anywhere! i dont know how many perfume cards i picked up off the floor just checking to see if it is the parking ticket. i asked the lady at the checkout but she hadnt seen one. and there it was. me, now the distressed one. she probably has had her fair share of distressed asian girls by now. my mum and sister went back to the car to check, while i ran around to every single shop we went to, crazily looking around on the floor and asking all the shop assistants. nothing. nothing. nothing. nothing. they either thought i was on drugs or that i was a bit too young to be driving.

it was about at this time that i got a text from vanessa saying, "my uterus is contracting :(".

then a phone call from my sister, "we found it in myer!"

first of all, she was meant to be in the car. and secondly, i already looked there! it was my territory, i would've ran back to look again anyway, hmph. MY TERRITORY!!!!!!!!! i sound like the voiceover on meerkat manor. ran from forever new all the way back to myer and was drowning myself in my own perspiration by then.

... thank you for reading/scrolling this far tehehehe.

Labels: embarrassing stuff that only wendy would go through

exams no more! rejoice!

no more having to hug my notes around everywhere i go. no more having to say, "i'm watching tv but im meant to be studying." no more feeling guilty because i get distracted by food. i can finally sit down and do something without being reminded by my conscience to study, to study, to study, to study. im lovin' it.

math trials were a bit of a bitch. uh. i encountered some girl problems right after i finished section 2. wont go any further into that heh. by lunch time, my uterus was contracting so hard (oh i guess i decided to go further into it after all) that i couldnt study and had to borrow calvin's jumper to keep warm even though it was around 23°C. i hate it when you have so much time left in an exam and you know you should be checking but you just cant be bothered because you know you dont know half the stuff and your first guess will be as worse as anything you pretend to know and correct. there's only so many times i can cross out on my multiple choice answer sheet.

that's me and science. we're an onion and a banana in a pea pod.

i'm really not bothered with my body. as in, i dont moisturise, i dont exercise, i dont know how to apply make up, i dont really give a damn about my skin tone, i hate clipping my nails, i hate showering for crying out loud. so yesterday, when i twisted my left arm inwards to take a look at that side of my arm for the first time in years, it shocked me to find out i have three moles in a line there.

it's a freaking constellation, on my arm.

tracey's birthday party tomorrow. desperately. want. to. go. too bad i have tutor 8-10, which means i'd have to catch the late train all by myself to the city now that even diem's managed to find someone to carpool with. id have to swim through the sea of people and find my way to the restaurant. directions, im not really good with that, i have no sense of direction. alvin would know, he showed me a text today that i sent him in year 7 complaining about how he was teasing me because i walked into a wall that day.

i want a job in retail already! hire me, damnit!

Labels: everyday, exams

maths and science trials tomorrow and then we're free! because who cares about the actual school certificate, right?

i hate people who whack me on the head when i say i actually care about school certificate. 'care' in my dictionary doesnt mean to the extent of staying home to study, or full hardcore revising. just, you know. cruising along. eating gelato and screaming out, "oi, what's the formula for the surface area of a sphere?" .. is it 4πr²?

-she wanted me to take her name off- got an interview at cotton on! im so excited for you, oh, one of my close friends is going to be in retail! yippee! (you could call me easily amused. id rather think of myself as supportive -grins-)

okay, no wonder i could never find the spot to apply. liverpool is separate from sydney in the search thingy on the website. what is this?! all this time ive been thinking theres no openings because ive been searching sydney, and not specifically, liverpool. time to apply, time to apply, time to apply. yes i am desperate for a job.

edit im capped so i got eric to apply for me. all good and well before i remember to just make sure with him that he's given my work email and not my stupid accidental year 3 email. and guess what? he gave the wrong email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that means i wont be hired!!!!!!!!!!!! who's gonna want some girl with lil_pineapple8 as her email serving customers and dealing with cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay never mind, you can edit your email. oh. okay, thanks eric, hehehe. i got so angry over that. my blood is boiling. must be the foreshadowing of my menstruation. sorry i had to put you through that. moving on.

english trial was enjoyable. i got to sit there for 25 minutes just to think about what i should write for my short story, finish the story and still have 20 minutes spare time! i am the worst at creative writing, and the time frame of 2 hours and 10 minutes really allowed me to think of what to write! the letter to the editor was a lot of fun. muahuahuahua. if miss smith marks my letter to the editor im going to get 0/15. she loves our free school laptop to pieces. calls herself the moodle queen. psh.

moodle is stupid because it sounds like noodle. but it's not.

Labels: everyday, exams, moodle is stupid because it is like noodle but it's not

excuse my cat. please dont interpret its paws as mutated breasts.

only mathematics non-calculator, english trial, hsie trail, mathematics trial and science trial left! yeah, only. dont worry, i feel your pain.

must i reiterate the fact that mr dillon is machine of a marker? a1 got their math yearlies back. dun dun dun! my fail score in math was somehow blanketed by my unexpected mark for geography -grins-. this was even worse than the time where our average for consumer arithmetic topic test was around 60%! dillon said he set a hard exam on purpose to separate us because our results are always so clumped but we still could've done better. "this is a wake up call." yeah, we'll wake you up, sir, we're going to redeem ourselves and rock your stripey socks off with the maths non-calculator. we're all going to get full marks except me and we'll go on to do extension 1 maths and we'll top the grade and it won't be thanks to freaking maths online either! ok go, a1!

i told alvin that if he stole my topic sentences, i'd steal his virginity.

the essay question for the english exam wasnt even a real essay question. what is this?!?!?!?!?! gave me a picture of white duck eggs picking on a brown chicken egg and told me to discuss the importance of accepting individual differences. ive been studying the wrong thing, always had a focus on how the characters in my texts were being ostracised, not why we should accept them. had 4 minutes left and pondered to myself, should i gamble and write a fourth body paragraph before the conclusion? but nah. i only managed to write 3 body paragraphs, 5 paragraphs in total, which is quite insufficient. fingers crossed that i'll still get an above average mark, considering i did so yesterday at english tutor. (for one of the questions in our short answer tasks, eric wrote half a page and got marked 0.5, i wrote 8 lines and got marked 1, hehe.)




such beautiful dresses. the last one (not on the rack) would be something id buy instantly for formal if i saw it. would have to be strapless though. but i've come to a point where i've given up on trying to find the perfect formal dress. i found it earlier this year, but now it's sold out and i feel like i will never find another -sniff-. just going to wear one of my old dresses again. then i came up with an ingenious plan this morning: if i scab 20c off nearly everyone in the whole school, id get $120! enough for a decent dress and shoes right?! simon chau came up to me and told me what colours he was going to wear last week just to see if it would match my dress. i think i blushed.

going to go eat instant noodles for lunch now. subway the wendy-lifestyle, eat fresh! keep at it, dearies! study hard! ♥

Labels: everyday, exams

i lost my appetite and felt like vomitting two days ago. i think im pregnant.

i've missed you guys! now that we've established that sentiment, i think it's an obligation that i go on and tell you about where i've been, what i've been up to and the havoc i have created for myself and those around me. cos you know. it's me.

math exam, over! not that i can really express that with any sort of real relief or satisfaction. what is happening to me. i am losing marks on my math papers by the gajillions. the first time in a maths exam where i have had to leave a blank space for one of the questions. and you know what pisses me off, is that i finished part a and part b in 20 minutes, and thought to myself, "wooo! gonna ace this part c with 1 hour, surely!" no. part c was mean and cruel and evil and twisted, twisted in the reproductive organs, i hope part c dies lonely without a wife and without kids! but still gets buried in a nice coffin. i do not like the idea of cremation at all.

that stupid, stupid question on the compound interest. after 5 minutes of intensely staring it down, i got to this:

P(1+r)³ = 2P

and i thought to myself, yeeeeeee, two p's they can cancel out! but i went on to do this:

(1+r)³ = P

i subtracted instead of dividing. and ended up with some answer that was r=³√P -1. whilst i sat there with only 4 minutes left, with rubber rubberings all over my desk, with vanessa's voice yelling vagina, what?! in my head and with the question saying "to two decimal places", i thought, "what the hell, how do i round stupid letters off to two decimal places?!?!??!?!?!?!?! oh. maybe it's a trick question, ah ill be smart and leave it as pronumerals." yeah. good job, wendy, the answer's 26%.

had pe before math exam. everybody remembered how i had to have an operation in year 7 because carissa whacked my hand whilst we were playing hockey in sport and my nail bed was broken and my nail fell out of my finger and all the bones were crushed? and they put me on anaesthetic so i would be asleep during the operation cos it was that bad, and i had to be wheelchaired around after the operation for a while? yeah, that was somehow relived today as peggy whacked her hockey stick onto my hand which is now bruised. right during yearlies period. thank you god, for letting mr wilson choose wooden hockey sticks for us to use with, instead of those solid plastic ones. or else i would be in hospital right now being examined by truong's brother again.

playing against kyle also brought back memories of when he knocked me unconscious and i lost my short term memory. i did not dare play attack when we versed his team, in cased i got wendyed again.

study hard guys, only two more weeks! praying for you all, sending love and science formulas your way ♥

Labels: exams

another unproductive day at the library. angela turns up at 4:30pm and says, "i just woke up and decided to come!" stupid girl. if she's going to lie at least make it feasible. insulting my intelligence. i sound like sheldon cooper. okay. too much big bang theory. on another note, she bought me pandan waffles.

how do you describe photos like this? white. non-cluttered. intricate. no meaning but making absolute sense. i dont know, someone help me out, because it's my favourite kind. i used to stumble upon a lot on tumblr and weheartit, but it's getting less common now.

went to the doctors today to check out my ears (finally). been putting it off due to my fear of the words "it's permanent and there's nothing to help" coming out of his mouth. not that today helped because he said, well, nothing, and prescribed me antibiotics for hell knows what. i asked him if after taking the medication it would go away, and he said it should because my eardrum looks fine but i should come back on sunday. it was getting too awkward that it didnt occur to me to ask what the medication actually did. so wikipedia it was when i got home! one is to kill bacteria and one is to "dilate the blood cells in the middle ear".

i just googled it and apparently drugs that dilate blood cells in the middle ear will make tinnitus worse, especially if it is the ear hairs in your cochlea that are damaged and are causing the ringing. do i trust the internet or the doctor that wouldnt talk?

im scared. :( do i take my drugs or not?

freaking internet, screwing up my judgements.

let's just all ignore the fact that my title resembles some sort of powerade or lynx commercial.

5 days of holidays left, and what did i do? chose to further spend it at the library. but more to the point, chose to play cards for 2 hours which not only interrupted my studying but disrupted all the other strangers surrounding me. my mouth and stomach still hurts from all the laughing and the laughing at the laughing and the laughing at the laughing at the laughing when we werent supposed to be laughing.

we all know im not very good at the game bullshit. but someone has taken that crown off me. simon wang. oh, the poor boy. i think it was his first time playing it, but those who know simon wang would understand how hilarious this would've been (or hee-larious as nicholas would say). his facial expressions, voice, hand gestures, all put together as he placed down four cards and yelled, "three 6's". a lot of similar events followed. i've never seen eric laugh so hard he fell off his chair a couple of times. i've never seen nicholas' eyes go so small. and i think i was quite convinced christie was having an allergic reaction as she shook from laughter. then nicholas lost at 13 and hence owed me $5 which i happily spent on lunch which only made the day better. no doubt the best day ive ever spent at the library, you guys are a great bunch, thank you for being my study buddies this holidays :)

note to self: time to get a move on and finish all notes!




we were eating mussels and my sister found this in hers. cutie little crab.




my mouse mat, bought a year ago. dont think ive ever shown you guys!



i hate painting my toe nails the same colour. dont know why. but the two different colours always have to correlate or compliment each other in one way or another. and forgive my ugly little toes. who cares, toes, you're adorable to me. yes. i am showing you guys a picture of my feet. hehehehe. feet hi5! no? psh. my feet smell lovely.

formal shopping begins! the dress i have wanted and have been swooning over and have dreamt of purchasing and receiving in the mail and wearing is unfortunately sold out online. cut. cut to the core.

however, i tried on this dress today! that i have kept an eye on for a while. it is surprisingly plain (i say surprisingly because i am always plastered in sequins and glittered somehow) and definitely not what i had in mind at all as my potential formal dress. but it works. somehow. a lot of people will not like it, i know, but i am actually considering buying it now as it's currently on sale and is about a fifth of the price of the dress i wanted online. why go all out now, save it for year 12, right? im too fat to look good now anyway, im not going to bother spending $$$ when the end product is going to look like broccoli in heels.

yes, that is me.

you guys are always wonderful and lovely though, and always encourage me and support me. you guys will tell me i am beautiful and to stop worrying about formal. look, you guys chipped in to get me a guitar when you knew i didnt deserve one, when you knew my guitar skills were noob, when you knew the aftermath would be horrible covers with tragic strumming. you always leave me nice comments about my outfit posts, encourage me to do this, do that, which i would really not have the mindset to do. for example, ive dreamt of singing for talent quest ever since year 5. ive never had the guts, and have always just performed piano solos. but so many of you urged me to sing and gave me such lovely feedback afterwards. things like always having an interesting conversation on the train ride to school in the mornings which always get quoted for the rest of the day, creating adventures at libraries and shopping centres, seeing my page counter go up in the hundreds every day remind me that i am very lucky. the kindness that is exhibited to me by many of my readers and my friends and people around me never fail to make me feel warm inside. you always make me feel like i am appreciated and that the things i do make sense and have meaning.

and for that, i thank you: each and every one of you.

Labels: everyday, exams, holidays, thank you god, wendy loving all her readers and being all emotional no it is not pms

daylight saving is a bit of a bitch.

i woke up to my dad's mexican-horse-prancing-style guitaring (which somehow invaded my sleep and was the background music to one of my dreams) and the clock said 10 past 9, so i closed my eyes. resumed zzzz. then woke up again, before i quickly gathered it was +1 hour to the clock and that iwas in fact 12PM and that i should probably get out of bed. that wasnt the worst though- my church starts at 2pm and ends at 3pm. yes, that's right, one family turned up at 3pm, and was looking quite puzzled at how everybody was packing up. heh. lucky channel go!99 reminded me.

so many of you have been extra nice to me about my drastic vocal ability, thank you :') but i assure you. i would never put you through a whole song. 45 second introductions about my life and my lost tax file numbers and durian residue in my mouth, but never a recording of a whole song. new videos: omg and shock, i think theyre unlisted at the moment though :$

i really really really want a condenser microphone like grace's so i can sing as loud as i want, and reach high notes without the fear of making that kind of blurry-crackly sound against my current webcam microphone! they're like $150 though :(

week 1 of holidays over and what have i done? nothing. besides study. but that's nothing. may i remind you and put everyone at peace that i am not studying for the school certificate, and am studying for my yearlies? people always get so worked up. i hate being patronised by year 11s and 12s at the library who are so ignorant and distribute comments like, "oh. em. gee. why are you studying. it's just year 10. screw it. you're such a nerrrrrd. get a life." .. thanks. i detest that sort of advice! "just year 10", well it's just year 10, yeah, but it's still a school year, and there's still exams and i still want to do well. i think nerdin' it up at the library with a whole group of friends is much more fun and economically-sustainable than wondering aimlessly around westfields, to be honest: heaps of cute and hot guys study there and christie and i get up to a lot of detective work, and looking over shoulders and strutting past and spying behind bookshelves. but also, in saying that, this second week of holidays will see me beyond the realms of libraries. so go eat a cactus, people who keep swearing at me for studying, yeah, that's right, a reeeeeeal dry and spiky one.

and no, im not pmsing. i promise.

Labels: everyday, exams, holidays