
well, well, well. we meet again. you and i. welcome to my humble abode. i hope you enjoy your stay. here, let me take your bags. now if you will follow me, i'll show you around.
this is the lounge room. that's my friends collection, seasons 1 to 10. i currently have disc 1 of season 7 in the dvd player. i actually have the show on at least every second day. if it's not in the background while im doing my work, it's finishing off a few episodes before i jump into bed. hence, the few textbooks under the coffee table and math notes as you can see. studying for that math exam was rather stressful, let me tell you. my relationship with trigonometry exists as a very thin thread so 'further trigonometry' is definitely no friend of mine. but you're my friend, yeah? yes.
that's the kitchen. excuse the cake stand on the kitchen bench, we just celebrated my mum's birthday! stop staring intently at the crumbs, here, you can have a slice. all you had to do was ask. what are friends for? what do you mean we're not friends, i just established that we were. forcefully. anyway, there's the mountain of dishes that still need washing up because we just had a steam boat for dinner. i burnt my tongue on the food as usual. i will never be able to estimate the appropriate amount of time to wait after you take food out of the hot pot before putting it in your mouth. my tongue hurts. all done? just put your plate in the sink and we'll keep going!
bathroom. i cannot stand that lemon scent that people use in bathrooms. what's the use of an odour neutraliser when it destroys my nostrils as well? you know what else i can't stand? blue toilet water! that stuff scares the bejeebers out of me. who the heck. why. why, why would someone do that. feels like i'm peeing in the ocean and a great white shark's going to pop up and deprive me of the ability to reproduce. is your toilet water blue at home? clear, transparent toilet water is the best. speaking of which, have you seen the transparent soap bottle? there's a little bugs bunny figurine clinging onto the inside of the nozzle, see there? that cupboard holds the first aid kit which i've had to use recently. after being pounded to the ground by a fiesty goal attacker, i now have a bruise on my right thigh and a bad scrape on my elbow. you can clearly see the skin that's breaking off. i take my elbow for granted. the things i use it for: opening doors, holding my work when it's windy, leaning on in the mornings when im too lazy to fully get out of bed to switch off my alarm. the injury on my elbow just means it'll take longer to heal because everytime i move my arm, the skin on my elbow expands and contracts. at least i get to use these oops a daisy band aids eric got me. it's almost an incentive for me to fall over more. as if i dont hurt myself enough already. few days ago i was blow drying my hair and i whacked myself in the face with the blow dryer. there's a small bruise on my forehead.
yep. that's my bedroom. i'm surprised there isn't a trail of paper joining the lounge room and my room together. what you see there is the eruption of papers and notes as i tried to find things that were relevant to my upcoming exam. yes, those are lolly wrappers. and chocolate, too. i like to snack when i'm studying, okay?! i'm not fat. hey! you're the one that ate my mother's cake, don't you dare judge me! fine. get out. get out! here, take your bags back. i bid you farewell!


